Zombies
I work in the video games industry, and boy do we love zombies. There isn't a game out there that couldn't be made better with a few. Let's look at some examples:
Project Gotham Racing: a high-quality racing game. But what if the other drivers were flesh-eating zombies? Wouldn't you want to win just that much more, seeing them laugh their zombie laughter at you? Or what if your car was pulled by zombies chained to the front? Okay, that's a terrible idea.
Bombastic: a fun puzzle game. But what if you had to roll the dice over zombies? You'd hear the crunch of their bones, and run for cover as the zombies explode, flinging bits of zombie all over the screen. Well that's a terrible idea too.
On second thought, zombies don't really work into other existing games all that well. But there aren't nearly enough zombies in real life... though you could help correct this problem...
(Or perhaps there is a better way...)
But wait, if zombies don't work into existing games, then the trick is to focus on the zombies in the first place! Here are some valuable gems for other game developers to steal:
- If there's one thing that zombies ain't, it's good swimmers. Everybody knows it. So that's why zombies make great sailboat captains. If they fall off, they die! Err, well, they're already dead. But they at least get wet, and that makes them smell worse than usual! Anyway, Zombie Yachtsman is a guaranteed hit.
- Nobody does fashion better than a zombie. Barbie Zombie Makeover is a sure-fire crossover hit for young gay boys who want to hide their effeminate side behind the manly allure of the undead... but still want to be able to dress the zombies and doll up their blood-pasted hair into various fashions.
- Zombies make great firemen! They burn, which is fun to watch, yet they feel no pain, because they're dead. Zombie Fireman Chief pits you, a hideous Undead Fire Chief with a few dozen zombies, against a blazing building full of terrified children. Rescue the children without losing all your zombies to fire. You lose points if the firemen eat the kids!
- Few things are more comical than watching a zombie try to give directions to an airplane pilot who is running low on fuel. The hilarious faux-sim Zombie Air Traffic Controller takes advantage of this natural humor. With hours and hours of audio footage making the background for this game, such as "What runway do I use? Don't aaargghghgh me, what RUNWAY DO I USE!? For god's sake we're low on fuel! Stop saying BRAINS over and over!", this could be... kinda depressing really. Let's move on.
- The possibilities are endless. Zombie Librarian, Zombie Carpet Salesman, or Zombie School Guidance Counselor... these are all guaranteed hits. Make one today!
Yeah, I got nothin'.
Project Gotham Racing: a high-quality racing game. But what if the other drivers were flesh-eating zombies? Wouldn't you want to win just that much more, seeing them laugh their zombie laughter at you? Or what if your car was pulled by zombies chained to the front? Okay, that's a terrible idea.
Bombastic: a fun puzzle game. But what if you had to roll the dice over zombies? You'd hear the crunch of their bones, and run for cover as the zombies explode, flinging bits of zombie all over the screen. Well that's a terrible idea too.
On second thought, zombies don't really work into other existing games all that well. But there aren't nearly enough zombies in real life... though you could help correct this problem...
(Or perhaps there is a better way...)
But wait, if zombies don't work into existing games, then the trick is to focus on the zombies in the first place! Here are some valuable gems for other game developers to steal:
- If there's one thing that zombies ain't, it's good swimmers. Everybody knows it. So that's why zombies make great sailboat captains. If they fall off, they die! Err, well, they're already dead. But they at least get wet, and that makes them smell worse than usual! Anyway, Zombie Yachtsman is a guaranteed hit.
- Nobody does fashion better than a zombie. Barbie Zombie Makeover is a sure-fire crossover hit for young gay boys who want to hide their effeminate side behind the manly allure of the undead... but still want to be able to dress the zombies and doll up their blood-pasted hair into various fashions.
- Zombies make great firemen! They burn, which is fun to watch, yet they feel no pain, because they're dead. Zombie Fireman Chief pits you, a hideous Undead Fire Chief with a few dozen zombies, against a blazing building full of terrified children. Rescue the children without losing all your zombies to fire. You lose points if the firemen eat the kids!
- Few things are more comical than watching a zombie try to give directions to an airplane pilot who is running low on fuel. The hilarious faux-sim Zombie Air Traffic Controller takes advantage of this natural humor. With hours and hours of audio footage making the background for this game, such as "What runway do I use? Don't aaargghghgh me, what RUNWAY DO I USE!? For god's sake we're low on fuel! Stop saying BRAINS over and over!", this could be... kinda depressing really. Let's move on.
- The possibilities are endless. Zombie Librarian, Zombie Carpet Salesman, or Zombie School Guidance Counselor... these are all guaranteed hits. Make one today!
Yeah, I got nothin'.
